Stand
By Me is an adventure-filled coming of age movie
that is arguably one of the best things to come out of the eighties. What’s
better than four boys with huge potty mouths who leave home in search of a dead
body? Not to mention that it stars River Phoenix who had the kind of face
people wrote songs about. And of course, it was written by Stephen King. Is
there anything better? No, there is not and don’t you dare bring Star Wars or something else into this.
Besides the adventure and the countless
coming of age lessons, Stand By Me has
one perfect golden nugget of information that is destined to almost always come
true. At the end of the movie, adult Gordie, now a big time writer, sits at his
computer writing the story you just watched. He ends with the most poignant and
prophetical statement ever:
“I
never had any friends later on like the ones I did when I was twelve. Jesus,
does anyone?”
Funnily enough, I refused to agree with
it. I thought I was going to be one of those lucky few who stayed friends with
the same people all her life and the birds would sing and everyone would live
happily ever after. Since this isn’t Cinderella
and since no friendship in the world is like what you see on television,
that didn’t happen.
The person I called my best friend since I
was twelve (ironically) isn’t my best friend anymore. This came straight from
the horse’s mouth so to speak. It’s no secret that she and I have drifted apart
over the years. I think I refused to believe it at first or maybe I was too
comfortable in my current situation to do anything about it. She would always
say how she felt we were drifting apart to which I would reply: “Of course
we’re not! This is how friendships are when you get older.” Then recently the
inevitable happened and she informed me that yes, she still saw as friends but
just not “best friends” anymore. In short, she found other friends that suited
her better than my other good friends and I did. And that’s totally fine! No
one says that drifting apart is a bad thing. Sometimes it happens.
The point is this: when you’re twelve
years old you see the world differently. It’s not so much of a stretch to say
that the friends you make at that age see the world the same way. And so you
have a lot in common. You laugh together, do dumb things together and build a
lot of memories along the way. But then one day, it all changes and you realize
that you both see the world and approach life differently. And again, that is
totally okay. Its better that you move on from each other instead of holding on
to something that simply isn’t there anymore.
In Stand
By Me, Chris and Gordie remain friends. They grow up and enter the scary
world of adulthood together. (Yes, after that they didn’t talk much but that
isn’t the point). The two of them drifted away from Teddy and Vern until they
became distant memories of the past. It really does suck when it’s spelled out
as blatantly as that but it rings true to real life. In my own situation, my
best friends and I are parting ways with the girl I once called my best friend.
It does hurt and it feels like any other breakup but ultimately it’s for the
best. The memories will last even if there aren’t any new ones being made. And
I know that we’ll all be fine because this is how it was supposed to be. As
long as you have the few people that truly matter you’ll never be dissatisfied.
So, does anyone still have the same
friends that they did when they were twelve? Maybe. And that’s great for you.
You should both win a best friends award and celebrate with a movie marathon
and some pizza. But if you don’t? It’s nothing to stress over. Life happens and
sometimes you just have to let it. My other three friends with whom I'm close were also friends I met when I was twelve/thirteen and our bond has only strengthened. It's a toss up.
Thank you Stand By Me and Stephen King for showing me the way it would be
even if I didn’t believe it for a long time.
