Fairy Tales in the Digital Age

“Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you.” –Loretta Young

Interesting, right? Isn’t that what we all think; what we were conditioned to believe? As a little girl, you have Disney movies thrown at you and are read countless stories about white knights rescuing the damsel in distress. And that’s all well and good. It’s nice to have a fantasy world to slip into every once in a while but it does do a number on our minds. Not to mention the countless romance novels and movies like The Notebook or Titanic (obviously the love story part and not the big-disaster-now-everyone-including-the-white-knight-are-dead part). Basically, if we’re going by what the movies tell us, we have to sit in a coffee shop or go for a walk in the forest and bump into the man of our dreams. Let fate and destiny take care of it while you sit patiently waiting.

First of all—no. That doesn’t work. At least it doesn’t work 97% of the time. When fate does occasionally step in to help people meet unexpectedly it’s nice. It makes for great stories to tell the grandchildren while they surround you and your significant other in your matching rocking chairs on the porch. And we hate these people. Why do they get to meet serendipitously while we sit around like bumps on a log? All right fine, we’re happy for them. It’s sweet and nice but still doesn’t change the fact that we’re burning with jealousy.

Enter the digital age. We live in the modern world where online dating and Tinder are more common than chance meetings in coffee shops or even good ol’ blind dates. There are a major amount of success stories, long-term relationships and even marriages to come out of the online dating scene. That being said, you have to sift through a whole lot of bad people and creepy dudes to find one good one. It’s the proverbial needle in the haystack. Not to mention the fact that a good amount of people are looking to solely hook up and nothing more. It’s enough to make you crazy but the proof is in the pudding as they say.

Now you’re at a crossroads much like the writer of this blog post. It’s hard to break free of the notion of meeting someone naturally. Who wouldn’t want to be somewhere one day and unexpectedly meet someone who you click with? Is there anything more boring than saying “Oh yeah well, we met on Tinder and he messaged first and blah blah, etc.”? Of course, meeting someone online is not a bad thing and it does work for many people. It’s the fixed cookie-cutter view that people have of how they should meet their soulmate and the brainwashing of stories and movies that leave us hesitant to venture into the digital dating scene.

The moral or lesson here? It follows the logic of the old cliché “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.” When in the digital age, take what’s offered to you. Joining a dating site, whether it be eHarmony or Tinder, doesn’t automatically mean you’re looking for love. You could be but you could also be doing it on a whim. And of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe you shouldn’t go out hunting for love with Cupid’s bow and arrow with the intention of snagging that perfect guy or girl. But nowhere is it said that you can’t help it along. The dating sites are just the platform, it’s up to you where you land after you dive. Keep in mind that joining a dating site isn’t the end all be all of finding love. If you don’t like it you can also delete your profile. And who knows? Maybe while you’re sifting through the masses with no interest in anyone you see, fate is waiting for you to enter the coffee shop and bump into your soulmate.

Take the plunge, go online, have a little fun or go into it with serious intentions. Whatever the case may be, go for it. It’s better than sitting around waiting for the perfect significant other. For all you know, they could be stuck under a rock or in a tree or something. Grab your phone, sign up and start swiping left or right. You’ll find it can be quite addicting.

L-O-V-E--what?

DISCLAIMER: This may get a tad bit mushy or dreamy or something that is akin to girlie. I hate being like that. Even though I know there's nothing wrong with it. I still hate it. Just be warned. And don't judge me. Or do judge me and fuck you. 

Boy meets girl. Or girl meets boy. One falls for the other and all sorts of lovey-dovey shenanigans ensue. Sometimes they stay together forever and get married and have babies and grow old together and die holding each other in bed a la The Notebook. (Oh and spoiler alert if you haven't seen it but I mean, who hasn't seen it? If you haven't, well then get the fuck outta here!!) Also there are times they don't stay together and it's all messed up but that's less fun to think about so let's not.

Some people (a lot of people) have that already. Goody, great for you! Others, *cough* like me *cough*, are sitting here looking at their watches like: "So, when is this dude showing up....?"

I once saw this meme thing on Facebook that said something along the lines of "Stop waiting for Prince Charming and go out and look for him. The poor bastard might be stuck in a tree somewhere." With my luck, mine is probably lost in the woods or in a dark cave somewhere. Oh who am I kidding? My prince charming/soulmate/dude/man is probably dead now because he was most likely my age in 1965. But I'm holding out hope that maybe there is someone still out there who's alive and in my age range. 

We all think about it. Even the people who swear that they don't care or don't want anything to do with it. Even the people who are scared of commitment or the ones who'd rather be friends with benefits. It's in your mind; whether it's in the front or the back doesn't make any difference.

It's been on my mind a lot lately. I always (pretend) whine about not having anyone and that I want someone and blah blah blah. More so I think because a lot of my friends are in relationships or trying to start them. I'm not too disheartened though because I haven't exactly been doing anything to find anyone. Obviously there is no one on his way to find me, tree notwithstanding. It's something that I have to work at and achieve by putting myself out there. (Eeeee!!) Which I plan to do. I always said that I'd try online dating if I wasn't with someone by my 25th birthday. Well, time is funny in the way that it creeps up on you. I'm turning 25 in less than two months. And since I think of myself as a woman of my word, I'll be going online this October. 

I said I'm going online and I will but part of me is upset at the fact that I am. Not because going online isn't a good way to meet someone because it is. I know people who have met their significant others online and they got married and it's all fine. I just wish I could meet someone naturally. Totally unexpected because it just happens whenever. And maybe it will. I just really hope it does. It's hard to let go of the notion of that happening. No matter which way, I'll be happy when it happens. I'm also one hundred percent on board with it happening once and that's it. I don't care to go through the whole ups and downs of dating life. I'd rather find the one person I'm meant to be with and leave it at that. 

I'm not saying that being in a relationship is the end all be all and that it's what makes life complete. While majorly important, it's not something you should measure the worth of your life by. And no, I'm also not saying that having a man is what completes you and that if you don't, you're a lesser person. NOT NOT NOT 1000x NOT saying that. People generally want another person to go through life with. You can have family and friends and whoever else and that's all well and good but the relationship between you and your significant other will always be different. And I think everyone deserves have a shot at it. 

That's all I'm asking for, really. I admit that I want to have someone to go through life with. I want to have another person who is the other half of me and who I love with all my heart. The world is a shitty place sometimes and it'd be nice to have someone by your side as you navigate it. That was the mushy part, see, and it grossed me out a bit. 

I'm not going to lie. I'm almost 25 and I haven't really been in a relationship and I'm feeling it. I'm feeling time catching up to me and the tiny bit of pressure to find someone so I can get married, at least by thirty. I get that your life doesn't have to follow a specific pattern and that everything will happen when it's meant to happen. But that doesn't mean I can't do something to jump-start the process. And who knows? Maybe that is what I'm meant to do. Ha, take that, psychology! 

And maybe, even though I'm reluctantly admitting it, I hear the faintest ticking of my biological clock somewhere in the distance. Though I think there's a lot of time left before the ticking gets any closer. 

I'm not an idiot. I know that life isn't like the movies and that a romance isn't just going to randomly happen. And it's not going to be like they show you with the romantic music and cheesy lines. Because who wants those lines? Contrary to popular belief, most of those lines would probably make me barf or at least squirm uncomfortably. I mean, in movies I'm all like "awwww" and whatever because it's cute and romantic and all that. In real life, I'd like "Oh my God, stop!" I want romance as much as the next person but sometimes it can be a bit barf-worthy. Or throw-upingly cute as I like to say. 

I know that it's something I want. I don't want to end up alone. I'm sorry but I don't. And I'm certainly not going to apologize for it. I want to get married and have children and live my life that way. I'm not going to sit on my ass and wait for it to happen and I'm not going to let it pass me by. I know that I want it and like most everything I want, I will get! 

Everyone has the vision of that perfect person they want. Nine times out of ten, it's grossly exaggerated and probably unattainable in that the person doesn't actually exist. I want a cool greaser-type dude with Elvis hair, good taste in music so that we can share our love of old music. (I have this whole date/fantasy thing of listening to vinyl records and drinking wine....) If they can sing and/or play an instrument, that's just hot. Tattoos are hot. Bad boy goes without saying because duh. But a bad boy with a heart of gold because also duh. If he's Italian then he has to be a sexy cool Italian and not a Woodbridge/Jersey Shore Italian because that's fucking ew. And there's much more. In reality I'll settle for a nice guy who has good music taste. And good hair. Please? 

Like everything I want in life, I need to go out there and get it. So I will put myself out there. And hopefully it'll happen.

Because in the end, all you need is love. Love is all you need. The Beatles for the win!!