My New Direction Is The Direction

Y’all knew this was coming.

Don’t worry. It’s only half-crazy obsessing and half-introspective musings on how I’ve changed, mostly because of the direction.

Strap in, children, the ride is just starting.

I guess I should begin with the tell-all statement of truth: My name is Addie and right now, I’m “obsessed” (I hate that word, as much as I use it) with One Direction.

That’s right, you read that correctly. One Direction. Having trouble believing it? I’ll wait.

*waits patiently*

Did you process it yet? All right, great, moving on—

I’m just as surprised as anyone that I got into One Direction. Not to say that they weren’t good or anything. I just never got heavily into them when they came out. I always knew who they were because honestly, who didn’t? And I liked about 6 of their songs, which I had on my iPod. “What Makes You Beautiful” was always a good jam, especially for singing in the car!! Whatever else I knew about them, I knew from my cousins who were into them at the time. (Cousins who aren't into them anymore, I'll have you know). I knew all of their names and what they looked like. And whenever they were in the news (Louis having a baby, Zayn leaving, etc.) I’d browse the articles because I was curious. But that was the extent of it. I always thought I was too old to like them. When they came out, they were so young-looking!! But like I said, I thought they were good but that was it.

And then. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then.

**PAUSE**

A little sidenote:

During the time that One Direction was around, I was very much into my old music. The Beatles, Buddy Holly, Elvis, so on and so forth. And that type of music will always be the music of my soul, the most important music to me; ever. But that’s what I was into pretty heavily. Then there was Jersey Boys and Newsies Broadway. (All of those=life). And then, back to the oldies with The Beach Boys.
I pretty much ignored and, for lack of better term, shit on modern music. Which, by the way, most deserved it. Maybe. Anyways, what I’m trying to say, is that I was a bit (a lot) uptight and in my own world and vehemently against modern music, for the most part. There were still always songs/bands/singers I liked.

**END SIDENOTE PAUSE**

CUT TO: 2016

I felt myself getting more and more into modern music this year. There was just a good amount of music that I was liking.

Then it began.

I’ll try to keep it brief but there are no promises because this is me after all.
One day, I was bored and randomly on YouTube. I saw something for James Cordon’s Carpool Karaoke and thought, “Hey, I’ve never seen any of those videos, it's supposed to be funny. I should check it out.” So, I searched “Carpool Karaoke” and decided on the One Direction video. I realized I never really heard them speak before and was curious.

Well.

I watched it, I laughed, I enjoyed. I realized that they didn’t look like babies anymore and that their accents were definitely sexy. (Who doesn’t love British/Irish accents?) I was attracted to Harry’s beautiful long hair (best hair I’ve ever seen on a man, by the way) and loved seeing them sing. They were on hiatus by this point, I knew that. I also recognized a song (“Perfect”) from hearing it on the radio and decided I liked it.

After that, I saw two more James Cordon/One Direction videos so I watched them too. (Dodgeball and Tattoo Roulette). Loved then both!! That was the most I had ever seen of One Direction. That was that. Or so I thought.

I got “Perfect” and it became my song of the moment. I loved it and listened to it often. I listened to some of the other One Direction songs I had on my iPod. I kind of fell in love with the “Perfect” music video and watched it a couple of times. One day, I watched music videos with my sister and cousin and we ended up watching “What Makes You Beautiful” and “Perfect” and I realized just how much One Direction had changed. I also made them watch the carpool karaoke and the other two videos of them with James Cordon.

Again, I thought that was it. But I was very wrong.

To keep the rest semi-short: I got two more songs: “Best Song Ever” and “Story of My Life.” And then “No Control.” At some point before all this, I followed them on Instagram. Funnily enough, I think I already was following them on Twitter. Then I thought, maybe I should listen to more of their music. I listened to random songs on YouTube and liked them. One thing lead to another and then BAM, I got their whole discography and listened to it and I was hooked. Then I watched their music videos and a shit-ton of interviews. I got/listened to/liked Zayn’s solo album. Eventually, I watched their movie. Which I own now. I also own four out of their five albums. I, ironically, don’t have the album “Four.” And now I’m all in the fandom, loving them, being all fan-girly. I pre-ordered the magazine featuring Harry. I freaked with the rest of the world about Niall’s solo song (it’s beautiful by the way). And the uncertainty of when they’re coming back makes me nervous. (Notice how I said “when” because they will be back). I also realized that there is a huge adult fan base so I don’t feel weird. Which, I’m not because in retrospect, I’m not that much older than them. They’re all within four years of my age so why feel weird? Anyways, I’m in the fandom good and proper and not going anywhere.

Oh and yeah, I’m getting a tattoo of one of their songs tomorrow. (Don’t judge!! Or, judge and fuck off!!)

Now, before I go further, allow me this moment of pure fan-girling:

Louis is beautiful and my favorite. He is too awesome for words. And Harry, HARRY!! If you don’t love Harry Styles, then you got problems. He’s beautiful in every way. And his voice, holy shit, his voice!! And that long hair, oooooh. Which is gone now, very very sad. But he still looks amazing with his short hair. I just miss the long hair. Legit the best hair I've ever seen on a man. And of course, there's Liam (Li-YUM) and baby Niall. And yes, Zayn. Beautiful, beautiful Zayn. Yes, he left the band and yes that sucks but he's great. And his album is stellar. Much love for Zayn. I love their music videos and I watch them a lot a lot!! "Best Song Ever" and "Perfect" are my favourites. And the London Sessions were so good!! And let me tell you, I've never been so active on Twitter before. And yeah, I listen to them quite a bit. Like a lot. A lot a lot. I annoy people. And I don't care mwahaha!! And holy shit their music is great but their latest album "Made In The AM" is fucking pure gold. "If I Could Fly"? Holy. Shit. That is all. I advise everyone to listen to the album. It's beyond amazing. Love love love looooove One Direction. I'm waiting for the day to see them in concert.

And now, a little bonus rant: People don’t give One Direction nearly enough credit. They are really good. They’re not just some little boy band or fad or whatever else people think they are. People give you shit for liking them. They are extremely talented and they wrote a lot of their own stuff. They are different from any other band I’ve ever seen. They came on the scene and shattered all of the boy band “rules” so to speak. They have the biggest fan base I have ever seen and the only band I’ve seen that rivals The Beatles. And that’s saying something. Especially me saying it. They deserve more credit, pure and simple.

All right, I’m back. Now, onto the introspective/serious-like stuff:

I said before that I was all closed-minded when I was heavily into old music. Which was true. But honestly, One Direction grabbed me and pulled me into the modern world. And I have to say I like it. It's kind of nice liking someone who is so relevant and actually around. (And not, you know, dead). It's different but for once in my life, I feel like I'm in my own generation and I'm okay with it. I don't feel as disconnected. Don't get me wrong, I'll always love the oldies and The Beatles are my #1 always. But it's nice to be modern and feel like my own age.

Because of this, I feel that I've changed. The whole being modern thing, for one. But also, I don't have such a guttural aversion to modern music anymore. It's not the same as old music, that's for sure, but I'm okay with it. I've been in club settings and I find myself okay with the music and bopping along even though I won't be putting some songs on my iPod anytime soon. It's just the fact that I'm more open, more chill, more modern. And I'm okay with it. I don't feel like I'm fighting against it anymore. I've realized that it doesn't matter. While I love being the oldies girl, I'm also okay with being my own age; a millennial. Something I thought was akin to the fucking plague not too long ago. It probably sounds trite, I know, but it's how I feel.

The funny thing--my friends made fun of me for liking old music and now that I listen to more modern music, they say it's weird and not me. I guess you just can't win!! But don't fret, I still have strong opinions on some modern songs haha. And side note: I was into the modern music of the time when I was in high school so calm down, people.

Continuing with the subject of changing--I feel that I've become different. Now, maybe it's the quarter-life crisis talking but I've changed. I've lost all of my up-tightness and as much as I hate to admit it, my slight holier-than-thou attitude. I'm chill and good with whatever. I'm more girly (fucking weird, right?) and I want to go out, live it up, party, have life experiences, do it all. I'm not saying this is good but I don't mind drinking when I go out and I've had a smoke or two or seven haha. Again, not condoning smoking, I'm illustrating a point. So, yeah, it's definitely the quarter-life crisis talking but what can you do? And all of this 1D/modern music makes for a most stellar soundtrack for fun-having!!

This is probably going to sound stupid and sappy and whatever but it's true. I sincerely love being into One Direction. I am so happy that I got into them. I hate that I got into them so late, when they're on hiatus, but still, I love it. I get to witness all of their solo work which I'm excited for. And, I know, I'll get to see them reunite one day.

So there you have it. I'm very up with the One Direction love. And I wouldn't have it any other way!!

Don't F**king Call Me Cute!!

All right, listen up ‘cause shit’s about to get real.

Let me start off by saying that I’m pretty damn short. 4’10 ½ to be exact. (And yes, the half counts). I’ve also read articles where fellow short people have ranted about the feelings of anger (or white-hot rage) that the word “cute” induces. But this is my take on it.

Cute is a fine word in itself. A lot of things in this world are cute. A basket full of puppies? Cute. A red and white polka-dot dress? Cute. Louis Tomlinson? Cute. (AKA extremely sexy). But you get the point. It’s fine to describe things as cute when it fits but when it’s said with a condescending tone or even worse, when it’s preceded by “Awww”, it’s one of the most annoying things ever.

I am not cute. 

Don’t fucking call me cute!! I may be short and I may be (mostly) sweet but I’m an (almost) twenty-six year old woman (WOMAN) so please don’t refer to me as “cute” like I’m a kindergarten student. Because it makes me want to cut you and I will cut you. Or, at least, in my head I will, all the while wearing a “cute” smile on my face.

I’m not saying that I’d rather be called Queen Bad Bitch who is awesome, kicks ass, and lives life like a boss but I’m saying that I want to be called Queen Bad Bitch who is awesome, kicks ass, and lives life like a boss.

It’s not even about being short, either. Sometimes people feel the need to have a condescending attitude towards your endeavors or your hobbies or the things that you like. The list goes on. It doesn’t matter what it is. When it’s said, I can feel my blood boil and my eyes roll so far back into my head I can see my cute little brain. And then I get the overwhelming urge to choke a bitch.

I can picture it clearly—someone calls you cute so you respond with something like: “Hey fuck you, motherfucker.” And they just smile and say: “Aww that’s so cute!!” And that’s when I get arrested and go to jail for murder.

Look, if you want to compliment someone, then use the word “cute.” As long as it’s not condescending. I can’t help but laugh at the people who use it that way, though. It makes me wonder why they think they’re so great. You’re not cool so I don’t know why you are under the notion that you are or that anyone cares what you think.

Moral of this very short story? Don’t be the asshole who condescending calls someone “cute” because you look like an idiot and you’re probably going to get slapped. By me.

Though I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end. People can say what they want and they’re going to, whether you like it or not. It’s up to you to let it bother you. And remember, you can always kick someone’s ass and then pretend you didn’t do it. You’re so cute, after all. ;)

This was extremely, random, I know. It just popped into my head and I felt like writing it down. So, take it with a grain of salt!!

Inspiration and Determination

“You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” –Ralph Marston

I am so shocked by my own personal change in attitude that I feel the need to share it with the world. Granted, I’m a writer and I tend to want to share everything with the world. But I digress. I decided that I would leave all of my anxiety and negativity in 2015 and go forward with positivity and confidence. And it was as easy as saying it. Or at least it was a stepping stone towards permanently adopting those attitudes.

This decision to change my attitude transcends New Year’s resolutions and stems from the fact that I am and always have been majorly anxiety-ridden, paranoid, slightly pessimistic, and a smidge cynical. A lot of people are and yes, it’s normal; everyone suffers from or deals with something. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t exhausting and debilitating. It messes with your mind and your health and affects you physically as well as mentally. It can get in the way of your everyday life and it makes it hard to do the little things.

I suppose I’ve been this way my entire life but I only became fully aware of it when I was seventeen (almost eighteen) and preparing to enter college. Maybe it was the uncertainty of what college would be like or the starting of a new chapter of my life that triggered it. Or maybe it was time for it to explode; no one knows why it crops up when it does, it just does. To make a long story short, the past seven years have been me dealing with a constant swirl of thoughts, freaking out over things that I shouldn’t have freaked out over and basically making every molehill into Mount Everest.

That’s not to stay that it was bad all the time. There were times when I had a handle on it and I could shove it down and be done with it for a little while. The times that it did get worse was what I called my own “mental breaks.” But even though it wasn’t always turned up to eleven, it was still there. And it was completely strenuous. It prevents you from really enjoying anything because you always have a pit of worry in your stomach and your head is always spinning with thoughts you can’t control.

So I finally decided to stop. I told myself, “That’s it, lady. You can’t do this to yourself anymore. You’re gonna drive yourself crazy and you won’t enjoy anything the way you should.” And I thought about it and I replied to myself, “Yes ma’am!” And that was it. I decided to stop and so I did. Well, I am currently. In a sense it is as easy as saying it but that doesn’t mean it’s going to magically go away. The decision is step one. The determination is what gets you there and keeps you there. I’ve learned that when I say something and really mean it, I get it done. I really like that about myself. Other times when I’ve said something and there was no determination driving it, I failed. That lends itself to losing weight too. It’s something I can feel in myself. This time, I feel it.

If you have the determination to do something, you’re golden. It starts with inspiration then gives way to determination which ultimately gives way to you achieving what you set out to achieve in the first place. I don’t want to sound hokey like all of those inspirational self-help books or cat posters but there’s a grain of truth in those things. The underlying message is that you can do it with some determination and a little hard work.

I’m proud of myself. It’s so freeing to not be in a constant state of worry. Of course, it’s not completely gone. I still do have those moments of panic/anxiety or the random irrational thought but instead of dwelling on it and freaking myself out, I stop it before it can get any further and swat it away like the annoying fly it is. I’m also surprised that I did it so easily. I’m staying positive and telling myself that I can and will keep it like this. Trust me, it’s so nice.

In Lucas Scott fashion I will end this as I began it, with a quote:

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I Resolve Not to Resolve

Every year is the same. As the clock winds down and Christmas passes by, many (if not all) of the people in the world are taken over by the intense desire to make a change. New Year, new me. We’re all guilty of uttering these words whether it be in our mind or in our Instagram posts. I’ll readily admit that I am one of those people. And I’m only half-ashamed of it.

There’s something about a New Year approaching that makes people look deeper into themselves, discover what behaviors, actions or lack thereof that upsets them and ultimately makes them resolve to change themselves for the better. I personally don’t see anything wrong with that. The New Year is just that, new. It’s the world’s way of saying, here you go, here’s a clean slate, do with it what you will. Some people don’t buy into the hype and it’s just as well. You don’t need to wait for January 1^st to roll around to change yourself. You can decide to change on a Tuesday in March or a Friday in August and no one will fault you for that. January 1^st is a deadline, a shove in the right direction. 

It’s been said that resolutions are not the right way to go because by definition a resolution is the solving of a problem. While that does lend itself to changing for the better, it’s not what we should be focusing on. When you make a change you are doing it solely for yourself. Change signifies that your intentions are to never go back to what made you unhappy in the first place. Fixing a problem may only be temporary because that problem can always come back. If you resolve to change then change and that’s it.

Of course, my “resolutions” do fall into the standard category of resolutions that half of the world makes; lose weight, don’t snooze your alarm in the morning, break bad habits, find love and so on and so forth. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s what a lot of people want so why can’t you want it too? The question then becomes, are you going to go through with it? Are you really serious or are you making a resolution because it’s the thing to do? Everyone is gung ho for the first week or maybe even the first month but when February hits it’s all back to the same old habits.

So, I resolve not to resolve. I, like almost everyone, looked towards the New Year with hope and determination to set goals and achieve them. It’s a mental thing; you’re given the opportunity for a fresh start and so you take it. But I plan to back up my words with actions and not let the resolutions fall flat in the first week. Determination is the only tool you need to make change effective. The rest will follow.

I firmly believe that it’s all in how you say it. Instead of “I want to lose weight and be skinny” (which may be true) how about “I want to be healthy and to get there I am going to eat right and exercise.” On my own list I wrote “better myself for myself—mind, body, soul, etc.” That also lends itself to my other “resolution” to think in a more positive manner and to be more confident in what I want to achieve. Also, I promised myself to kick my anxiety in the teeth. I’ve decided I’m done with all the anxiety and worry. I’m determined. But saying it is not enough. Don’t say, just do. And don’t make it sound like it’s a mundane to-do list. If you truly want it, you will get it so there’s no excuse to abandon your resolution or whatever you want to call them.

Use this shiny New Year as a diving board and jump head first into whatever changes you are determined to make. Take the tired standard “New Year new me” and make something of it. Set goals for yourself that you know you can accomplish and do it. Use whatever you want as inspiration. In my own case, a song. I started it in 2015, having a song of the year. It’s the first song I listen to, right after midnight, and it’s supposed to set the tone of the year. Whenever I listen to it, I remind myself of the goals that I set and I keep on going. Yes, I did the whole post a selfie on Instagram with an inspiring quote thing; from my aforementioned song of the year. I’m not embarrassed. It’s all a mental game after all. It’s part of some modern belief that if you post it then it must be true.

In the end it’s all quite easy. If you want it, either do it or go and get it. It really is as simple as that!!

The Vision Board Does All

A vision board is a tool used to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal. Literally, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life. (Source: http://makeavisionboard.com/what-is-a-vision-board/)

I’ve always wanted to make a vision board. I’m someone who looks for inspiration in everything and when given the opportunity to use something that does, I jump on it. But other things usually get in the way and time passes and you never get around to doing what you said you would or what you would like to do.

Last week I finally made a vision board. And I love it. It’s perfect for inspiration. It’s perfect in that it’s something that you can put all you want to do or achieve and actually have a chance to obtain it. I think it’s a way to psych yourself up. It’s physical and visual and because of that, it makes your dreams all the more real and attainable. If you see it, you will be inspired to do it. And also in putting forth positive, good vibrations into the universe, you are bound to get the same in return. I believe that. It’s a combination of all that and wanting it bad enough. Whether it be fate, faith or luck, it’ll happen.

I started simply with what I want to do or achieve: Love, Career, Fitness, and Travel. I added a list of inspirational/power words, images of women I admire and some of the things I wish for. I’m proud of it because it looks perfect and it’s exactly how I imagined it in my head. Everything is perfectly placed and it does inspire me. Not only that but it’s also a reminder. It reminds me of what I want and that I can get it if I just try.

Like I said, I filled the board with four important focal points of what I want plus a few others. In more detail:

Love: I put a few stock images of a couple getting married, wedding rings with a marriage certificate, and a family. Then for the personal touch, because I think this is important, I put images of fictional couples I admire: Lucas and Peyton from One Tree Hill, Nathan and Haley from One Tree Hill, Jack and Rose from Titanic, Noah and Allie from The Notebook, and Jack and Katherine from the Newsies Broadway production.

Career: This is made of stock images. I have an image of a screenplay, a slate with a film reel and a camera, one of an old-timey typewriter, a pile of books, a notebook with a pen on top of it, the cover of the an article written in the late 1800s by a woman named Nellie Bly. It’s called Ten Days in a Madhouse and it should be read by everyone. I also have a pile of money, and of course, an Academy Award. Dream big, right? Three of my words there are “write” because I need to and Coppola and Scorsese because they rock and I’d love to be like them. (I also just realized I spelled Scorsese wrong on my board and have to fix it!!)

Fitness: A big issue for me. I’ve been struggling with the whole weight loss thing. I did really well for a while and then I fell off the wagon again. But I’m extra determined. And I truly believe this vision board is helping me, especially for this. I have a few inspirational work-out stock images as well as a few quotes and a bottle of water because I need to drink more water.

Travel: I’m always going on and on about where I want to travel. (CALIFORNIA!!!!) I have a big list of all of the places I need to see. The important ones are on this board: New York City, California, England and Italy. I also have images of a plane and a ship. I must travel and I need to see California and England. It says “live” and “happiness.”

The other section of inspiration for me is the one with pictures of women who I admire, both characters and real women. I have Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer because she will always be my favorite. Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill because she is tough and strong but also caring and fragile at times. Phoebe Halliwell from Charmed is another favorite of mine. She kicks ass and is independent but again she also has that fragility and gentleness. Katherine Plummer is a character from the Newsies Broadway show. She really appealed to me because she’s a writer and she’s independent and unafraid. She stands up for what she believes in. I want to be like that. I like to think I am. And then I have Jennifer Lawrence, Evan Rachel Wood, Drew Barrymore, Julianne Hough, Marilyn Monroe and Lucy Hale. I admire them all and think they are beautiful and smart and kick ass in all they do. I also have the Supergirl logo because it is wicked to have a female superhero. Some words there are “woman”, “inspiration”, “strong”, “confidence” and “unbroken”. I think that being a woman is important. I know it sounds weird. But for a long time woman weren’t treated the way they should be. They still aren’t being treated equally, more so in other countries. Men were always handed everything from the beginning of time and in that I mean they always had rights. Women had to work for it and boy did we ever. I appreciate that, I respect that and I intend to live up to it.

Then I have the section of some of the things I dream of having: a red Hyundai Sante Fe car, a red 1958 Thunderbird, an apartment in New York City and a beach house in California. The words there are “imagine”, “stay gold”, “dream”, “11:11”, and “wish”.

The last words I have that round up the board are “music=life”, “laugh”, “one shot.” In the middle of the board are the words “Don’t give up, don’t give in” which I credit to Louis Zamperini. He has become an influence and an inspiration. Everyone should read and watch Unbroken.

So there it is, my vision board. Everyone’s will be different, of course, but the idea behind it never changes. You should make one and find the inspiration within. Go out and get what you want. As much as I love to entertain the idea of past lives—I was a feminist activist, a flapper, a hippie—I believe you only get one shot. Even if there are past lives you only get one shot as you. So don’t screw it up!!

I taped my vision board to the side of me TV shelf so that I pass by it every time I leave my room in the morning. I look it over for a few seconds and let it sink in before I go out to face the day. I like to think it fills me with all I need to tackle anything that comes my way and sends me off on the path to achieving what I truly want. I have a vision after all….

….

This is the link to the article I mentioned. I think it’s worth a read. Nellie Bly was a great reporter who did anything to get her story, even if it meant putting herself in harm’s way. She was definitely ahead of her time; a true pioneer. It’s long but well-worth the read.

http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/bly/madhouse/madhouse.html

I Turned 25 and the World Didn't Explode

A couple of weeks ago I turned twenty-five. 

*cue Beethoven’s 5th Symphony*

*cue the terrifying screaming*

*cue the music from Psycho*

*cue the music from Jaws*

Okay, I’m done. Despite cueing all of the crazy horror-movie sound effects, turning twenty-five was not the bad it’s said up to be. Who says it’s bad, you ask? Generally the people who are approaching the age. And, it’s a documented “crisis.” It’s called a quarter-life crisis, much like the ever-famous mid-life crisis, and that’s exactly what it is. A bona-fide, motherfucking crisis.

You basically approach the milestone with great trepidation and the feeling that you are about to go completely insane. Do you actually? Maybe. That part is up to you. Nine times out of ten it’s you doing it to yourself and I can attest to that. In the few weeks leading up to my birthday I went through this mental break where I was sure I was going bat-shit crazy. I’m used to having spikes of anxiety here and there—it’s been my way of life for what seems like forever—but this was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Yet it has since disappeared just as quickly as it materialized.  

The quarter life crisis is born from the inane theory that we have to have our entire lives together by the time we turn twenty-five. Sometimes it can be thirty; the whole crisis itself is said to affect people from 25-35. When you reach that age and realize that you don't have everything you've ever wanted or your life didn't turn out exactly how you planned, you tend to freak out. 

It’s hard to shake the notion that we need to have our lives together by a certain point. We think that if we don’t we’ve failed and that’s it. Now you’re branded a failure. The only thing that hinders you from moving on and achieving what you want is the dejected feeling that comes with the quarter life crisis. You are doing this to yourself and you are the only one that can break free from it. Of course, it sounds one thousand percent easier to do than doing it actually is but it’s the only solution.

You think to yourself: “I’m turning twenty-five and I have no job in the field I want, no boyfriend or fiancé or husband, I’m not financially stable,” and so on and so forth. The list of achievements you think you should have goes on and on and varies from person to person. The funny thing—there are people who have careers, significant others and are financially stable who go through the crisis too. It’s about not achieving what society thinks you should, what you think you should have achieved, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. Whatever the reason, the feelings of craziness and utter despair are the same and it’s something you need to move past.

There’s also this whole becoming aware of your own mortality thing which is a separate issue and it sucks and it’s something you shouldn’t worry about either. (Why do I know? Because it was on my long list of things to freak out over). 

Some people do have their lives together by twenty-five and that is great for them. They don't have to be bothered by this and can wait for the mid-life crisis like everyone else. But for the people who aren't where they want to be or where they planned to be--its okay. You are okay. There is no time limit in which you have to accomplish certain things. In this world, it takes time. Everything that is meant to happen will happen in its own time. As long as you have faith and believe that you'll never go wrong. 

I turned twenty-five a few weeks ago and I realized that I'm fine. Nothing has changed. I'm still the same person I was at twenty-four. I know that it's okay that I'm still looking for my career job and that love will find you when it's meant to. I know, truly, that everything will work out as long as I work hard to get there and stop setting time limits for myself. 

Besides, I have five years to accomplish what I want by thirty. 

Random Musings #2

I missed a post last week--le gasp!! 

Now that we're over the shock that no one actually felt, welcome to another post of word vomit! (AKA lazy  as fuck to come up with a topic so I'll just write whatever comes out). 

Newsies seems to still be kicking around in my brain. It's a mood in the back of my mind while The Beach Boys take the forefront. Surprisingly but also not, Jersey Boys is still chilling somewhere back there. I only say this because right now I'm listening to Newsies at work before I open the doors and trying not to dance. And I may or may not have delved back into the fan fiction world and found some interesting things to read. But that's enough about that. 

I'm going to Florida tomorrow and my general feelings towards this are: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

I, um, enjoy vacations. It's just nice to escape life for a while and chill in a place that's somewhere else. Even nicer when this place has warm weather, pools and/or beaches and an overall feeling of relaxation. You can say a nice "BYE!!!!" to all of your worries and stresses and just chill. I've said it before, I've never been so relaxed before as I was when I was floating in the pool in Florida. I'm hoping I can recapture that feeling again. It was so nice and I know that I need that right now. We're driving so there's also an added road trip which I've always wanted to do. Then I can say that I passed through and/or stayed in some random US states. Which is cool. It amps up my traveller's cred. It's gonna be fun and I'm definitely excited. 

And when I get back at the end of September, I'm planning to get my tattoo. Well, in early October but still. I have decided. I have it half-designed already. I just need to add the finishing touches. And it's hard because I can't quite get it how I want it. I wish I could draw then it might be easier. Oh well. I'll get it eventually. I'm nervous and excited about it. I'm sensing a theme with my tattoos. Words/songs of things I really love. Hey, it's going to look awesome so I'm happy!! Tattoos are life, props to all who have them!!

I've been thinking--RUN!!!!--I feel like I've slipped into this not caring state. Which is a Libra trait (or quite possibly a downfall). Being passive and maybe sometimes too passive. Which I am. I find that I just don't care. Meaning that I can't be bothered. I don't take many things as a big deal. Traffic? Whatever, just drive, we'll get there eventually. People don't like something about me? Awesome. Bye!! For a psychotically paranoid person I'm not bothered by much. (And so my contradicting personality rears its ugly head). Not to say that there aren't things I don't care about. I can be crazy-passionate about things. It's just the little things; the everyday bullshit. I just don't give a shit. Admittedly, this could be bad hence why it's the downfall of being a Libra. But I just--I mean--I don't care. 

Apparently I'm good at coming up with barf-worthy romantic lines. I came up with this the other day: "The sun rises and sets on your smile but it is no comparison to the light of your eyes." Did y'all barf? You probably did. I'll wait. Seriously though--so sappy!! And I love romantic movies. I live and die for them. Kind of. Whatever, the point is, I love them. But those lines can be so cringe-worthy!! But also cute, you know? It's nice to hear. If a man ever said something like that I'd probably cringe but also be all "awwwwww!!" Such is life. Also, where's my man? 

Why the hell is it winter? Two days ago it was all sunny and warm and I wore a tank top. Then yesterday and today it was like nope, time for winter!! But tomorrow and the rest of the week will be hot again. Only in Canada will you find bipolar weather. 

It's my birthday soon!! (Not actually, it's like a month away, but this is my thought process). A fucking quarter century old. When did this happen?! I was seventeen last year. I was born last week. It's 1990!! I'm fine. I actually don't give a shit about getting older. Sure, on some level it has a level of suckiness to it but it's not bad. The way I see it, you are still you no matter what. Age doesn't change that. It's a number. Yeah, I admit, you feel it creeping up on you and you can't believe you're getting older but it shouldn't have to be a bad thing. It only matters what you do with life. And if you're happy. But what I originally was saying was that my birthday is soon and I don't know what to do yet to celebrate. Family would just be at home on the actual day. But with friends, I'm not sure. Maybe a semi-fancy restaurant. Or like, a trip to California and/or New York? Haha. Friends? What do you think? Yes....?

Sometimes cigarette smoke smells good. (I know I'm bouncing around from topic to topic but this is word vomit after all). This dude just walked into the walk-in where I work and he smelled of smoke and it wasn't bad. Usually smoke burns your nose and gives you a headache. Sometimes though, it smells good. I don't know why. Especially on a man when it's mixed with cologne. When it's overpowering it's really gross. But mixed with cologne smells really good. And I know, smoking=bad. But it also does look cool sometimes. I can't help it. TV and movies desensitize you!! When you're watching something and you see a sexy guy and then he lights up a cigarette and you're just like "yes!!" It's hot sometimes, okay? Sue me!! But yeah, it is also gross. And yes, bad. And yes, causes cancer and disease. So yes yes, I get it.

"It's a genuine fact that surfers rule." It's stuck in my head!! No shit, it's a Beach Boys song. But I didn't listen to it so why am I singing it?!

I have an hour and a half left at work and I'm just counting down because then it's vacation time. Though I still have a bunch of shit to do. Packing is done. It's a bitch to do but it's done. And everything looks all nice and organized and it makes my OCD happy. Also I'm counting down because I want to go home and even though I like the job, work still sucks.

I had my second Salted Caramel Mocha in two days from Starbucks and it's holy shit good. I love anything salted caramel. That little bit of saltiness is so perfect. Mmm like the salted caramel truffle blizzard from Dairy Queen. So good!! Fuck me, now I wanted a blizzard. Ahh!! Oh and I also don't care about being fat right now because I'm going on vacation so what's the point? Not that I'm going to go nuts but if I want something like Starbucks, I'm going to get it. I'll leave the dieting shit for when I get back. Because I will be in a bikini next summer, I swear. 

I love being Italian. That is all. I was randomly thinking that this morning too. I mean think about it--we are so cool. We swear better than anyone. We have pasta and pizza and wine. Italy itself is beautiful. The language is beautiful. And when you watch a movie with an Italian character it's always hilarious and awesome. We're loud and talk with our hands. And oh my God, we have the best desserts. Hello cannolis, motherfucker!! We basically kick ass. 

"It's a genuine fact that surfers rule."

It won't go away!! So now I'm listening to it. *giggles* Dennis!! 

I don't know what else. I basically just wrote a bunch of random stuff. But that's the best. When you just write and write, it feels so good. It's therapeutic. You're just writing it all out, whatever it is. It's like a cleanse for your creative mind. I can't describe the feeling but it's just awesome. Even though I haven't had much time to work on my screenplays, this is good. It's good to keep my writing going and my creative mind sharp. And I really hope I can work on both of my screenplays in Florida. Finally get a good amount done. Honestly, I need to go to a remote cabin the woods for two weeks so I can just write. 

And funny sidenote: At the end of the song"Surfer's Rule", is the line: "Four seasons you better believe it." Just makes me laugh. Probably only me.

The song is still stuck in my head but at least it's more than one line now. 

Well I guess that ends this week's word vomit. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm sure I'll write a blog while in Florida.

Catch y'all on the flipside. I'm on vacation, bitches!! 

Addie

L-O-V-E--what?

DISCLAIMER: This may get a tad bit mushy or dreamy or something that is akin to girlie. I hate being like that. Even though I know there's nothing wrong with it. I still hate it. Just be warned. And don't judge me. Or do judge me and fuck you. 

Boy meets girl. Or girl meets boy. One falls for the other and all sorts of lovey-dovey shenanigans ensue. Sometimes they stay together forever and get married and have babies and grow old together and die holding each other in bed a la The Notebook. (Oh and spoiler alert if you haven't seen it but I mean, who hasn't seen it? If you haven't, well then get the fuck outta here!!) Also there are times they don't stay together and it's all messed up but that's less fun to think about so let's not.

Some people (a lot of people) have that already. Goody, great for you! Others, *cough* like me *cough*, are sitting here looking at their watches like: "So, when is this dude showing up....?"

I once saw this meme thing on Facebook that said something along the lines of "Stop waiting for Prince Charming and go out and look for him. The poor bastard might be stuck in a tree somewhere." With my luck, mine is probably lost in the woods or in a dark cave somewhere. Oh who am I kidding? My prince charming/soulmate/dude/man is probably dead now because he was most likely my age in 1965. But I'm holding out hope that maybe there is someone still out there who's alive and in my age range. 

We all think about it. Even the people who swear that they don't care or don't want anything to do with it. Even the people who are scared of commitment or the ones who'd rather be friends with benefits. It's in your mind; whether it's in the front or the back doesn't make any difference.

It's been on my mind a lot lately. I always (pretend) whine about not having anyone and that I want someone and blah blah blah. More so I think because a lot of my friends are in relationships or trying to start them. I'm not too disheartened though because I haven't exactly been doing anything to find anyone. Obviously there is no one on his way to find me, tree notwithstanding. It's something that I have to work at and achieve by putting myself out there. (Eeeee!!) Which I plan to do. I always said that I'd try online dating if I wasn't with someone by my 25th birthday. Well, time is funny in the way that it creeps up on you. I'm turning 25 in less than two months. And since I think of myself as a woman of my word, I'll be going online this October. 

I said I'm going online and I will but part of me is upset at the fact that I am. Not because going online isn't a good way to meet someone because it is. I know people who have met their significant others online and they got married and it's all fine. I just wish I could meet someone naturally. Totally unexpected because it just happens whenever. And maybe it will. I just really hope it does. It's hard to let go of the notion of that happening. No matter which way, I'll be happy when it happens. I'm also one hundred percent on board with it happening once and that's it. I don't care to go through the whole ups and downs of dating life. I'd rather find the one person I'm meant to be with and leave it at that. 

I'm not saying that being in a relationship is the end all be all and that it's what makes life complete. While majorly important, it's not something you should measure the worth of your life by. And no, I'm also not saying that having a man is what completes you and that if you don't, you're a lesser person. NOT NOT NOT 1000x NOT saying that. People generally want another person to go through life with. You can have family and friends and whoever else and that's all well and good but the relationship between you and your significant other will always be different. And I think everyone deserves have a shot at it. 

That's all I'm asking for, really. I admit that I want to have someone to go through life with. I want to have another person who is the other half of me and who I love with all my heart. The world is a shitty place sometimes and it'd be nice to have someone by your side as you navigate it. That was the mushy part, see, and it grossed me out a bit. 

I'm not going to lie. I'm almost 25 and I haven't really been in a relationship and I'm feeling it. I'm feeling time catching up to me and the tiny bit of pressure to find someone so I can get married, at least by thirty. I get that your life doesn't have to follow a specific pattern and that everything will happen when it's meant to happen. But that doesn't mean I can't do something to jump-start the process. And who knows? Maybe that is what I'm meant to do. Ha, take that, psychology! 

And maybe, even though I'm reluctantly admitting it, I hear the faintest ticking of my biological clock somewhere in the distance. Though I think there's a lot of time left before the ticking gets any closer. 

I'm not an idiot. I know that life isn't like the movies and that a romance isn't just going to randomly happen. And it's not going to be like they show you with the romantic music and cheesy lines. Because who wants those lines? Contrary to popular belief, most of those lines would probably make me barf or at least squirm uncomfortably. I mean, in movies I'm all like "awwww" and whatever because it's cute and romantic and all that. In real life, I'd like "Oh my God, stop!" I want romance as much as the next person but sometimes it can be a bit barf-worthy. Or throw-upingly cute as I like to say. 

I know that it's something I want. I don't want to end up alone. I'm sorry but I don't. And I'm certainly not going to apologize for it. I want to get married and have children and live my life that way. I'm not going to sit on my ass and wait for it to happen and I'm not going to let it pass me by. I know that I want it and like most everything I want, I will get! 

Everyone has the vision of that perfect person they want. Nine times out of ten, it's grossly exaggerated and probably unattainable in that the person doesn't actually exist. I want a cool greaser-type dude with Elvis hair, good taste in music so that we can share our love of old music. (I have this whole date/fantasy thing of listening to vinyl records and drinking wine....) If they can sing and/or play an instrument, that's just hot. Tattoos are hot. Bad boy goes without saying because duh. But a bad boy with a heart of gold because also duh. If he's Italian then he has to be a sexy cool Italian and not a Woodbridge/Jersey Shore Italian because that's fucking ew. And there's much more. In reality I'll settle for a nice guy who has good music taste. And good hair. Please? 

Like everything I want in life, I need to go out there and get it. So I will put myself out there. And hopefully it'll happen.

Because in the end, all you need is love. Love is all you need. The Beatles for the win!! 

I Don't Give A ______

Fill in the blank with whatever you like. Damn, crap, shit, rat's ass, fuck, fuckity crap or if you're totally square, I don't give a care. Or square and quite British, I don't give a bother. Okay I'm done. And that probably doesn't even make sense. Moving on.

It's a good phrase to keep in the back of your mind. And maybe a good principle to apply to life. That's not to say that you have to bulldoze through life like a psychotic bull in a china shop, swearing at the passersby and screaming "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!"

But I mean, if that's who you are then all right. You do you. Just do it over there, away from normal people. 

I don't see this as being confrontational. In fact, if you know anything about me, you know that I turn and run away from confrontation of any kind. Unless it's warranted or the only way. I prefer a good old-fashioned talking it out. If that doesn't work and it comes right down to it then you better gear up because it's ass-kicking time! 

I don't give a damn/crap/shit etc is a state of mind. I'm a firm believer in if you think it, whatever it is, and believe it then it will show in you. Say for example that you want to be more confident. Then be confident. I always say to myself, fake it 'til you make it. It's true albeit a little unorthodox. So if you say in your mind, I'm confident, I got this, I can do this, and you act that way, sooner or later you will be that way. 

That principle lends itself to my "I don't give a _____" theory. Too many times I've witnessed people who are too worried about what everyone else thinks and what everyone else wants to live their own life. That is no way to live. I hate when people feel that they have to make decisions around other people. People are so scared of how they're going to look to others and that maybe other people will be mad at them for doing something. Nine times out of ten they won't be like that. If they care about you. But guess what? There's that one time that someone will feel that way and look down on you. So what?! If that's the worst that can happen, take it and move on. That person will eventually come around. And if they don't, then it shows you who really cares. 

That being said, don't be an idiot. Don't be a stubborn, hard-headed fool. It is okay to maintain the not caring what people think mindset and also take advice when needed. Like everything, it's all about a healthy balance. Listen to the advice and opinions given to you. Take them into consideration. As long as in the end you do what's right for you and what makes you happy. Sometimes the decision you make matches the advice given and it's all great and the hills are alive with the sound of music and we all live happily ever after. Sometimes it doesn't. And that's okay too.

Say it in your mind over and over. Make yourself be that strong confident person. Don't let people tell you what to think, what to do or like or who to be. You were not put on this earth to please people or to live your life according to someone else's rules. Find out what you want for yourself, what you want to do to make you happy and go do it. Despite my trips to Imagination Land where I have crazy theories of my past lives, I truly think you only get one shot. (I am NOT saying YOLO because fuck that). One life, one shot. Don't waste it, don't screw it up. Make it worth something.

My fear is that I'm going to wake up one day and look back on my life and say "Oh shit, what did I do? Why didn't I do what I wanted?" I don't want to regret my life. I'm so afraid of that. I'm determined not to let that happen. I do understand that your dreams have to be rooted in reality and that you can't expect everything to be handed to you. You have to make what you want happen for you. And you're not going to do that if you're too busy pleasing the world. Live your life in a way that makes you happy, keep that confident, I don't give a crap attitude in your mind. Don't apologize for being who you are. Just be. 

For once I'm actually taking my own advice. Imagine that! 

It's not an easy feat. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Oh well maybe I should be more like this" or "Maybe if I do this, I'll get this." But then I quickly find that voice in my head yelling at me and saying that I'm me and that I couldn't be any other way if I tried. Instead of trying to be this way and trying to please this person and whatever else, take a step back. Fill yourself with that confident attitude. Let yourself shine through. Just be you. 

Take my advice. Or don't. I really and truly don't give a---

---damn.

You thought I was going to say fuck, huh? ;) 

The Fantasy

Picture this:

You wake up and sit up in your bed and look around your studio apartment. It has that vintage-y feel but there are a few modern art pieces and furniture in the mix and it's a nice balance. The scent of freshly brewed coffee fills your nose and your eyes open a little wider. A growl erupts from your stomach and reminds you that you're hungry. After breakfast you stand in front of your giant window, steaming coffee cup in hand, and enjoy the view before you. Ahh, the beautiful, busy, gleaming city of New York. 

Okay, now picture this:

The sun streaming through your open window wakes you up some time in the mid-morning. A light breeze causes your white linen curtains to flutter. You rise from your bed and catch a whiff of the warm, salty air. It's going to be a good day, you know it already. Who needs to get changed? You're good in your shorts and tank top. A few minutes later you take your cup of coffee onto the deck where you lean against the railing and take in the view. The warm sun is on your face, the breeze gently ruffles your hair; everything is peaceful. You're spending the day on the beach, no doubt about it. It is California after all. 

(Oh and there's obviously a man in each fantasy because, umm, duh). 

And finally, this:

Oh, reality. Yeah I live in Canada. You know, the place that I once heard described in a movie as "a wasteland of frozen tundra." Which is wildly untrue, of course, unless it's winter.

Then I'd be inclined to agree because our winters are filled with mountainous piles of snow and movie-worthy ice storms. Don't flip out, I love Canada and I am proud to be Canadian. But the fantasy holds strong in my mind and in my heart. (That sounds borderline barfy, I know). 

And, true to my nature, my fantasies  contradict each other, are completely different life-style wise and both appeal to me equally. Such is my life. 

I'm happy with my life. I am. I love my family and my friends. I love my home and I wish it could be my home forever. But there's always that little nagging part of me that says I belong somewhere else. Not indefinitely but at least for a little bit. I have this thing where I wish I could just get up and go and live somewhere else for a while. Have crazy life experiences somewhere else in the world. Sometimes I'm overtaken by the feeling of wanting to go somewhere else. It's an intense yearning and it makes you feel like you're gonna burst but then it eventually goes away. 

I wish I could find a job that would take me there. I know I'd feel homesick and that I'd miss everyone so much but I really want to do it one day. And I know saying "one day" means it could never happen and that you have to make it happen. I really hope to. One day. Ha. 

I did go to New York this year and it was perfect. It was my second time going but I got more out of it this time. And it definitely quelled the yearning for a bit. I didn't spend nearly enough time there but it gave me my fill; for now. California is my next target. I want to see San Francisco, L.A. and Hollywood and the Viper Room where River Phoenix died. (Extreme sadness). And also the cemeteries where the famous people are buried. (It's not creepy, you pay your respects as a 'thanks for everything', you know?) Obviously I want to see the beaches and all that. It's something you always see in movies or hear about. I'd love to experience it. And plus side? I could totally get a movie studio job, hello!! 

This is also where my past life theory factors in. All right, calm down everyone opposed to reincarnation. I'm not saying I believe in it fully, it's just fun to entertain the idea. And I mean, it would explain a lot. So chill out and go with me on this. There has to be a reason why I have such a connection to these places. I figure that I was born in the late 1800s so that I was a newsie (Ha I know). I died of something rotten. Then I was a flapper lady in the '20s. And I got shot. Gangsters, you know? (Both of those I lived in NYC). Then I was born in 1945 and lived through all the good music of the '50s and '60s. Then I died somehow in the '70s. (Here was California). And then God or the Universe or whoever was like "Okay no more. You need to chill out for twenty years." Then in 1990 I was born in Canada and there you go. Too much? Probably. But so fun to imagine haha. 

Or maybe I was brainwashed by music and movies. No, seriously. Music, movies, books; they're all about transporting you to another place and living vicariously through the characters or the story or whatever. They make you yearn for things that you'e never experienced or places you've never been. I actually read something along those lines while reading about a certain musical group. The author said that their music was special in that it made other people who didn't live in their part of the country feel like they did. They lived vicariously. Same with movies. You see it and you want it. And I do. It's more plausible than the reincarnation theory is it not? 

It's on my bucket list to live in both New York and California for at least six months. I hope that one day I'll be able to do that. If not, I'd settle for month's vacation in each. I just wanna go....

I know that anything is possible if you believe it and that you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. Bottom line, I have to make this happen. And I really will. And not one day either. I just will. 

I Can Hear Music

Y'all knew this one was coming. 

Where do I even begin? Everyone who knows me knows that I love the music of the past. I often say that I live in the past and that the music from back then was better.

Well, it was. 

Let's do a few comparisons: 

"If every word I said, could make you laugh I'd talk forever" vs. "Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil." 

"You can check out any time you like but you can never leave" vs. "I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey), open doors for me and you might get some kisses." 

"And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be" vs. "That's so ratchet, this girl is such a fake model." 

"Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know, your stairway lies on the whispering wind?" vs. "Do you need me? Do you think I'm pretty? Do I make you feel like cheating?"

It hurt me physically to put those together. I think I may barf. 

All right, I admit, I purposely looked for the most amazing old lyrics and compared them to shitty modern songs. And I'm obviously bias. But this isn't journalism, it's a blog. It was to illustrate my point. Sorry for offending whoever may be offended And okay, not all songs back then were like that. There were songs about surfing and cars and love and going on dates but it was the simplicity that was beautiful. 

Music to me is extremely special. To me, it's not something that you just listen to. It's oxygen, it's lifeblood. It's something you can't survive without. If you took away my ability to listen to music, I'd die. And I know I'm not making this up, there's a shit-ton of studies on it. Music is supposed to make you feel. It's supposed to touch your soul. To me, there's nothing better than listening to something and getting chills all over because it's that good. When you listen to something and you feel like you're feeding off it, like it's giving you something--man, there's nothing better. 

Also, I like the respect that comes with liking old music. As selfish or obnoxious as that sounds, it's true. I was at a gas station with my sister once. I, being heavy into my Jersey Boys obsession, was blasting "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" while my sister was filling up. This older man, probably in his late '50s or early '60s heard it and told me to roll the window down and turn it up. When the song was over, he was all happy and said that he loved that song. He offered to pay for our gas or buy us an ice cream just because we made his day by playing that song. He also gave me his card and asked if I could e-mail him some old music, which I did. Right then I realized how amazing it felt to like the music that I do. So many people from the older generation look down on my generation and it's nice to surprise them and gain that look of respect. I feel like I've always gotten along well with older people anyways. I can talk music with them, which is cool. (I totally need a man my age who I can do the same with so umm, future husband, where are you?) 

I don't know why I like the old music so much. I grew up with 1050 CHUM or Oldies 1150 always playing on the radio. My sister has always been into the oldies music since she was a kid. It's always been in my life. But it took me a while to fully immerse myself in it. I grew up with boy bands and musical soundtracks (Newsies heeeey!!!!) but also Metallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N' Roses, Queen, etc, because of my brother. In high school I was all into rock and I liked a whackload of modern day rock bands. Then around grade 12, the oldies really started to filter in. Then came the great Beatles apocalypse and that was that. Oldies became my life. And after that I felt like I found what I really loved. My soul connected with the music and that was it. I love all different types of music from many different eras but my heart lies with the oldies. 

The funny thing? All old music was modern music at one point. And not everyone loved it. I'm sure in '20s when jazz hit the scene, there were people complaining that classical was better. And when rock n roll hit in the '50s, some people stuck with jazz. And so on and so forth. I guess I like that early rock n roll was so different and impactful and how it changed the history of music. Even though the lyrics and chords may have been simple, I like that. It has something today's music lacks. I love how the mid-sixties and seventies were all about pushing the envelope and developing a real sound. But there was still a mystery about it all. Not today where everything hangs out. I'd rather hear about the mystical stairway to Heaven instead of how this guy wants to see this girl's tits or something. Back then, The Beatles sang a song about blowjobs and there's a Beach Boys song with sex noises in the background. (I know, right?!) They flirted with the taboo subjects but didn't outright say it. That's wicked. And also hilarious. 

Now, don't get me wrong here. I grew up in the '90s and was a teenager in the early '00s. I liked and still like plenty of modern music. I love '80s, '90s and '00s as well. I have a lot of songs on my iPod that can attest to that. I like Bruno Mars and Katy Perry and some Taylor Swift and Maroon 5 and whatever else. I like some music that will truly surprise you. 

And don't think I'm telling you what you have to like. My God, you can like whatever the hell you want. My opinion is not yours and yours is not mine. Whatever music makes you feel good, listen to it. Music, like art, is subjective. As long as it makes you feel something, then that's all that matters. If Pitbull does it for you, great. Miley Cyrus? Awesome. Taylor Swift? Amazing. That's all you. I have no right to tell you what to like. I'm only telling you what I like. 

And okay, not every piece of music has to be a spiritual experience. Sometimes you want to let loose and have fun and listen to extremely obnoxious pop music. Don't think I don't. I'm talking about music as a whole when I geek out over its spiritualism.  

Of course, I'm never going to change my opinion. I will always maintain that old music is better. And that's totally fine. Because it's what I think and what I chose to listen to. Everyone is different. I'm not better than anyone, there's no right or wrong here. It's a to each their own situation. Respect everyone's opinion.

Yeah, I rag on people and make fun of my friends for liking modern music but I'm only kidding. The only time I'll ever get mad is if you tell me that I shouldn't be listening to old music. Then I will tell you where, when and how many ways you can fuck off. It's happened before. And it majorly pisses me off. Once you start getting judge-y and tell me what I should be listening to because of when I was born, I will flip on you. In the end, everyone listens to whatever the hell they want to. 

But, I mean, you all know that modern music sucks, right? ;) 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs mentioned, rights belong to the respective artists. Also, thank you to Melissa and Maddalena for helping me out!!