Inspiration and Determination

“You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” –Ralph Marston

I am so shocked by my own personal change in attitude that I feel the need to share it with the world. Granted, I’m a writer and I tend to want to share everything with the world. But I digress. I decided that I would leave all of my anxiety and negativity in 2015 and go forward with positivity and confidence. And it was as easy as saying it. Or at least it was a stepping stone towards permanently adopting those attitudes.

This decision to change my attitude transcends New Year’s resolutions and stems from the fact that I am and always have been majorly anxiety-ridden, paranoid, slightly pessimistic, and a smidge cynical. A lot of people are and yes, it’s normal; everyone suffers from or deals with something. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t exhausting and debilitating. It messes with your mind and your health and affects you physically as well as mentally. It can get in the way of your everyday life and it makes it hard to do the little things.

I suppose I’ve been this way my entire life but I only became fully aware of it when I was seventeen (almost eighteen) and preparing to enter college. Maybe it was the uncertainty of what college would be like or the starting of a new chapter of my life that triggered it. Or maybe it was time for it to explode; no one knows why it crops up when it does, it just does. To make a long story short, the past seven years have been me dealing with a constant swirl of thoughts, freaking out over things that I shouldn’t have freaked out over and basically making every molehill into Mount Everest.

That’s not to stay that it was bad all the time. There were times when I had a handle on it and I could shove it down and be done with it for a little while. The times that it did get worse was what I called my own “mental breaks.” But even though it wasn’t always turned up to eleven, it was still there. And it was completely strenuous. It prevents you from really enjoying anything because you always have a pit of worry in your stomach and your head is always spinning with thoughts you can’t control.

So I finally decided to stop. I told myself, “That’s it, lady. You can’t do this to yourself anymore. You’re gonna drive yourself crazy and you won’t enjoy anything the way you should.” And I thought about it and I replied to myself, “Yes ma’am!” And that was it. I decided to stop and so I did. Well, I am currently. In a sense it is as easy as saying it but that doesn’t mean it’s going to magically go away. The decision is step one. The determination is what gets you there and keeps you there. I’ve learned that when I say something and really mean it, I get it done. I really like that about myself. Other times when I’ve said something and there was no determination driving it, I failed. That lends itself to losing weight too. It’s something I can feel in myself. This time, I feel it.

If you have the determination to do something, you’re golden. It starts with inspiration then gives way to determination which ultimately gives way to you achieving what you set out to achieve in the first place. I don’t want to sound hokey like all of those inspirational self-help books or cat posters but there’s a grain of truth in those things. The underlying message is that you can do it with some determination and a little hard work.

I’m proud of myself. It’s so freeing to not be in a constant state of worry. Of course, it’s not completely gone. I still do have those moments of panic/anxiety or the random irrational thought but instead of dwelling on it and freaking myself out, I stop it before it can get any further and swat it away like the annoying fly it is. I’m also surprised that I did it so easily. I’m staying positive and telling myself that I can and will keep it like this. Trust me, it’s so nice.

In Lucas Scott fashion I will end this as I began it, with a quote:

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson 

The Vision Board Does All

A vision board is a tool used to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal. Literally, a vision board is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life. (Source: http://makeavisionboard.com/what-is-a-vision-board/)

I’ve always wanted to make a vision board. I’m someone who looks for inspiration in everything and when given the opportunity to use something that does, I jump on it. But other things usually get in the way and time passes and you never get around to doing what you said you would or what you would like to do.

Last week I finally made a vision board. And I love it. It’s perfect for inspiration. It’s perfect in that it’s something that you can put all you want to do or achieve and actually have a chance to obtain it. I think it’s a way to psych yourself up. It’s physical and visual and because of that, it makes your dreams all the more real and attainable. If you see it, you will be inspired to do it. And also in putting forth positive, good vibrations into the universe, you are bound to get the same in return. I believe that. It’s a combination of all that and wanting it bad enough. Whether it be fate, faith or luck, it’ll happen.

I started simply with what I want to do or achieve: Love, Career, Fitness, and Travel. I added a list of inspirational/power words, images of women I admire and some of the things I wish for. I’m proud of it because it looks perfect and it’s exactly how I imagined it in my head. Everything is perfectly placed and it does inspire me. Not only that but it’s also a reminder. It reminds me of what I want and that I can get it if I just try.

Like I said, I filled the board with four important focal points of what I want plus a few others. In more detail:

Love: I put a few stock images of a couple getting married, wedding rings with a marriage certificate, and a family. Then for the personal touch, because I think this is important, I put images of fictional couples I admire: Lucas and Peyton from One Tree Hill, Nathan and Haley from One Tree Hill, Jack and Rose from Titanic, Noah and Allie from The Notebook, and Jack and Katherine from the Newsies Broadway production.

Career: This is made of stock images. I have an image of a screenplay, a slate with a film reel and a camera, one of an old-timey typewriter, a pile of books, a notebook with a pen on top of it, the cover of the an article written in the late 1800s by a woman named Nellie Bly. It’s called Ten Days in a Madhouse and it should be read by everyone. I also have a pile of money, and of course, an Academy Award. Dream big, right? Three of my words there are “write” because I need to and Coppola and Scorsese because they rock and I’d love to be like them. (I also just realized I spelled Scorsese wrong on my board and have to fix it!!)

Fitness: A big issue for me. I’ve been struggling with the whole weight loss thing. I did really well for a while and then I fell off the wagon again. But I’m extra determined. And I truly believe this vision board is helping me, especially for this. I have a few inspirational work-out stock images as well as a few quotes and a bottle of water because I need to drink more water.

Travel: I’m always going on and on about where I want to travel. (CALIFORNIA!!!!) I have a big list of all of the places I need to see. The important ones are on this board: New York City, California, England and Italy. I also have images of a plane and a ship. I must travel and I need to see California and England. It says “live” and “happiness.”

The other section of inspiration for me is the one with pictures of women who I admire, both characters and real women. I have Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer because she will always be my favorite. Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill because she is tough and strong but also caring and fragile at times. Phoebe Halliwell from Charmed is another favorite of mine. She kicks ass and is independent but again she also has that fragility and gentleness. Katherine Plummer is a character from the Newsies Broadway show. She really appealed to me because she’s a writer and she’s independent and unafraid. She stands up for what she believes in. I want to be like that. I like to think I am. And then I have Jennifer Lawrence, Evan Rachel Wood, Drew Barrymore, Julianne Hough, Marilyn Monroe and Lucy Hale. I admire them all and think they are beautiful and smart and kick ass in all they do. I also have the Supergirl logo because it is wicked to have a female superhero. Some words there are “woman”, “inspiration”, “strong”, “confidence” and “unbroken”. I think that being a woman is important. I know it sounds weird. But for a long time woman weren’t treated the way they should be. They still aren’t being treated equally, more so in other countries. Men were always handed everything from the beginning of time and in that I mean they always had rights. Women had to work for it and boy did we ever. I appreciate that, I respect that and I intend to live up to it.

Then I have the section of some of the things I dream of having: a red Hyundai Sante Fe car, a red 1958 Thunderbird, an apartment in New York City and a beach house in California. The words there are “imagine”, “stay gold”, “dream”, “11:11”, and “wish”.

The last words I have that round up the board are “music=life”, “laugh”, “one shot.” In the middle of the board are the words “Don’t give up, don’t give in” which I credit to Louis Zamperini. He has become an influence and an inspiration. Everyone should read and watch Unbroken.

So there it is, my vision board. Everyone’s will be different, of course, but the idea behind it never changes. You should make one and find the inspiration within. Go out and get what you want. As much as I love to entertain the idea of past lives—I was a feminist activist, a flapper, a hippie—I believe you only get one shot. Even if there are past lives you only get one shot as you. So don’t screw it up!!

I taped my vision board to the side of me TV shelf so that I pass by it every time I leave my room in the morning. I look it over for a few seconds and let it sink in before I go out to face the day. I like to think it fills me with all I need to tackle anything that comes my way and sends me off on the path to achieving what I truly want. I have a vision after all….

….

This is the link to the article I mentioned. I think it’s worth a read. Nellie Bly was a great reporter who did anything to get her story, even if it meant putting herself in harm’s way. She was definitely ahead of her time; a true pioneer. It’s long but well-worth the read.

http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/bly/madhouse/madhouse.html